I recently got into a discussion with a friend of mine who is MtF about all our trans stuff. She said how a lot of MtF’s were jealous of FtM trans because of how well hormones affect us and hinted that many thought that FtMs had the much easier transition.

This is a very sore spot for me as I very very much disagree and hate when  any trans person thinks that someone has it easier. you know what? No, no they don’t, none of us do. we ALL have a fucking intense battle to endure and none of us get off easy. Our (FtM) hormones may in most cases work better butyour (MtF) Sex change surgery is faaaarr more advanced. You (MtF) have to fold your Penis and tuck you testecles to ‘look cute’ in girls underwear, we (FtM) have to crush and bind our breasts to ‘look good’ mens shirts.

We both wake up each morning and look down at our bodies and feel intense disgust and hatred, we all cringe when someone uses the wrong pronoun, we all hurt when we don’t pass in public. We all have those moments where we wish, harder than we have ever wished for anything else, just to be on the outside what we are on th inside.

Nobody gets of easy, we all have this daily battle in our lives. So please think before you try and say that someones road is less rough than yours.

Peace and love to you all meow and  hang in there <3 <3 <3

***********Sorry for any politically incorrect stuff in there~ i hope you all get the gist though <3

Wow.. This picture really went well with the crippling dysphoria I have today.

A little reminder that no matter how much T I pump myself with or what surgery I get, how I dress or how I act will never fully hide the ugly monster that hides beneath it all.

I will never be real…

Man, everything is a trigger some days. I find though looking through all the FTM trans stuff on tumblr always sets me off :/
I always assume it’s going to be reassuring or empowering in some way but it always just leaves me feeling like shit. like there are so many people trapped and we are all just working on giving eachother small glimmers of hope until we die. We get excited over the most depressing things “oh yay, I walked into a fucking toilet without getting strange looks” or “yay my life is good today because I paid $30 bucks for a chunk of rubber to shove in my pants”   “Hey everyone, here is a photo of some scars on my body as I had to have some tumors removed, My life is really on track now”
We all do it. man, I have been sneaking off to the bathroom every hour or so, so I can admire my new packer.

It’s hard finding happiness in prison